To Forever We'll Wait
by BelovedSlayer
Summary: During prom, Buffy contemplates whether or not she should convince Angel to stay in Sunnydale.


Title: And to Forever

TV Show: Buffy the Vampire Slayer

Author: Beloved Slayer

Summary: During prom, Buffy contemplates whether or not she should convince Angel to stay in Sunnydale.

Author's Note: Lyrics belong to We Are The Fallen; the song is titled I Will Stay. Their debut album had just been released close to the same time that I had started writing this story earlier tonight, so actual song lyrics are not posted on the web as of yet. The lyrics posted here are my best estimation of what was sung in the song. I do recommend that they should be checked out. Forgive me guys, I've been on a angst filled Buffy/Angel kick lately, hehe. Enjoy!

Chapter One

_Tonight I'm without you_

_And raindrops are falling_

_With candlelight burning_

_For you I'll be waiting_

_Here..._

I rested my head gently against his shoulder, shutting my eyes to the world, lost in the moment where there was no one but just the two of us, swaying, dancing to the lyrics that were currently filling my thoughts, haunting me.

I felt my body bristling against his, shuddering against the fear that was enveloping inside me; the fear of realizing that soon, we were going to part, maybe forever.

_If all of our days had no more light_

_Then all of our dreams are lost tonight _

_The stars cannot fall_

_And everything turns to gray_

_Or we will stay_

Despite my composure to the outside world, to him, in my heart, I felt myself slowly being shattered into countless, possibly thousands of tiny glass shards, my heart screaming at me to confront his leaving. But I couldn't do that. How could I?

For once, I couldn't be selfish, no matter how much I had wanted to make him, to beg him, to stay. It wouldn't be right; no matter how much I felt the pain stabbing through me at this very moment.

But still, somehow I couldn't stop myself from letting the tears fall, a single drop falling directly on my heels, wetting the straps.

I lifted my head, my eyes locking into his chocolate brown orbs that were oblivious to the sadness that crept in my throat, my heart, my head, my body, my skin, and my eyes.

And I couldn't stand the fact that he wasn't aware of the emotions that were pulling at me, tugging at my broken heart. This time, I couldn't stay strong. I needed, I wanted, to break down, and to let it all out.

I wanted to cry, to snarl in pain, to curse, to lash out at the man who had brought me agony and misery but yet also, love; one who wasn't aware of the fact that he was still giving me the familiar twinge of heartache.

I knew that it was an ache that wasn't going to heal anytime soon. No matter if he was here or on the far side of the end of the Earth.

It would stay with me, for as long as it took for me to grieve. No, no one at the moment was particularly dying, but did it matter?

I was still losing him; for me, it counted as a major loss. And at the very moment when he leaves, it will leave me in a shell of my former self; that I knew. It was an irrational thought, but I didn't give a damn. Nothing else mattered.

My lips were pursed together in a line, but I felt them trembling. "Buffy?" Angel softly muted, his breath tickling my bare cheek. I sunk my head into his shoulder, stubbornly refusing to answer.

I didn't care that I was acting like an imbecile. I didn't care at all. All that mattered was that I didn't want him to leave. I wanted him here with me. Forever, that was the point, right?

"I don't want to talk to you." My voice was muffled. "C'mon, Buffy, you know we can't do this. I told you I was going to leave, and that's that. I can't keep putting you in danger while I'm still here. You know that. We can't be…what we were before." At this, Angel released his hold on me, and I felt myself growing cold without his touch, or his nearness as he added space between us.

I spun away, avoiding his gaze, glancing at the double doors that led outside. I prepared myself to take the first step in leaving him behind, in an attempt to mock his leaving me for his destination. Wherever that was.

"Who said that we have to be that close again Angel? I didn't really care, as long as we could still see each other. If we can't do that, then what's the point? Spike was right. You know that we will never be friends, no matter how hard we try. No matter how hard we try to remember about your curse. You actually think we could manage being friends? Because I sure as hell can't." I balled my hands into fists, but violence wasn't my intention at that motion.

I didn't know what to do at that point. A part of me had wanted to run to someplace where no one could find me. But the other part yearned for me to stay and be near Angel in case if this was our last dance together, our last connection. In case if there was a chance that I would never see him again after this moment.

In my duty as the Slayer, the Chosen One, there were never any guarantees of seeing my loved ones every day, alive, content, and healthy, especially myself. It was an unfortunate fact that had only happened just recently.

_Can't breathe without you_

_There's no life without you_

"Buffy, it doesn't matter, no matter how I feel about you. I still can't put you in danger. Being here puts your life at risk, and I can't handle that. I won't do that to you anymore. You deserve someone better, someone that you can see in the sunlight. I'm not a man. I'm just a monster. You deserve better. Don't waste your love on me. You have to move on."

With his harsh words being the last straw, I spun on my heels, exiting through the doors, venturing into the cool, night air. I didn't take the chance to turn my head around if he was following behind. So I ran. I sprinted as fast as my Slayer strength would allow me; to the only place in Sunnydale where I felt remotely safe.

"Buffy! Buffy! You don't have to do this. Come back!" Angel called out frantically, but his words fell on deaf ears. I chose to ignore him entirely, aiming for my destination.

I continued to run as fast as my heeled legs could bring me, the wind slapping against my face, my dress billowing behind me, my mouth releasing tiny whimpers into the air, until I felt breathless with the lack of air pouring into my lungs.

"Buffy, please, don't do this!" Angel cried. I aimed for more speed as I neared the mansion, entering through the gardens, the scent of jasmine flowers intoxicating the air. "Leave me alone," I snarled, opening the doors that connected to the living room and shutting them immediately behind me, bolting the locks, locking him out.

I dropped to my knees, cradling my head, finally succumbing to more tears. I didn't pay attention to feet scuffling in the far right corner next to the fireplace. I knew in my gut that it was Angel. I continued to ignore him. It was difficult enough to keep a straight face while trying to peer at him. For a second, I pretended that I was the only one in the room.

"Buffy," he announced in a gentle manner. "Didn't I told you to leave me alone?" I scowled at him in a cold voice that took him aback. "I can't if it's gonna end like this. How could I? I hurt you, I just can't leave you knowing that you hated me," Angel admitted, bending to his knees in front of me, his expression stoic.

"Like you really care," I muttered angrily, rising to my feet, avoiding his eyes. "How could you say that? I know you're angry, but it doesn't mean that I don't love you Buffy. I still do. More than anything in this world."

"Then why leave like this? I know things haven't been all sunshine and rainbows lately, but you can't give up on us yet. How could you just go from loving me to saying that you don't want to be with me?" I desperately wanted to know, my eyes pleading for an answer.

This time, Angel was the one who avoided my gaze.

"Because your mother and The Mayor had me convinced that I wasn't good enough for you, that I couldn't give you what you needed. And they were right."

I was startled into silence. Then my brows furrowed into sheer fury. "So that's it? You just give up? Just like that? You let their words sucker you in, convincing you that being with me wasn't worth it? That we weren't worth it?"

"Buffy, it's not that simple-"

"Nothing is! Nothing in this life ever is, but that doesn't mean that have to give up on it without fighting for it. Hadn't I told you that before? Strong is fighting, it's hard, and it's everyday. Or have you forgotten?"

For a few seconds, Angel didn't respond. He struggled with finding an answer. In silence, he pulled Buffy towards him, enfolding her into an embrace as his lips pressed against hers with all of the passion and fire he mustered, his tongue interlacing with hers, deepening the kiss.

Unexpected tears sprang to his eyes as his fingers clawed through her hair, realizing that she was returning the kiss and the embrace with a passion that matched his own.

The pent up emotions, anger, frustration, realization of losing her, all intermitted within that kiss, within that hold, and it grew like a trail of white fire that set itself ablaze.

"Of course not Buffy. How could I forget? You saved me that night."

Buffy smiled in hesitation, anticipating his next words. " I did, because you matter to me. But.... Are you still gonna leave?"

Angel pondered for a few moments, then sighed. "Until we know the world is safe from demons and vampires; from the Hellmouth in general, I'm not going anywhere without you. That's a promise." He reached out his hand, intertwining his fingers with Buffy's as he planted another gentle kiss to her moist lips.

"Damn right," Buffy nodded, pulling him into her embrace, reeling in the emotion that she had been too dangerously close in losing him.

The Slayer and her vampire; not even The Mayor himself could break their bond. And to the world, they still were its' saviors. And its' lovers. And they would continue to do so, no matter what path laid in front of them.

_If all of our days had turned to night_

_And all of our dreams had lost in ice_

_The stars cannot fall_

_And everything turns to gray_

_Or we will stay_

A/N: The ending for this story is an alternate version right before Angel season one had started. Just a little drabble idea if Angel had decided to take Buffy with him to L.A, although the city itself is not mentioned in this story. Hope you guys enjoyed it!


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